Elastic waist thick linen skirt with scrunches and bunches and bows oh dear...  AN ORPHAN JUST SNEEZED ON MY SKIRT OH HEAVENS NO!  * Cue the mud kicked by a horse * WHY I NEVER IN ALL MY YEARS! *wind gusts and a donkey farts in your face and you faint because you can't believe this is happening to you on your wedding day but honestly bitch you deserve it after what you've been putting your maids through for years. *dies of paper cut looking very pale and sweaty 10 minutes later* 

thick heavy duty 100% linen 

elastic waist

satin bows 

2 front patch pockets for handkerchiefs and smelling salts

dress i mean skirt is like pretty long i guess